you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
