it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize