Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
