She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
