Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
