Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
