Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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