Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
