Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
