I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
