He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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