so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
