i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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