naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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