that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
