I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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