Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
