my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
