I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
