To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
