Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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