I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
