Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
