we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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