I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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