Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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