At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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