New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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