Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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