After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
