HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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