I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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