I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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