we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
