carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
