I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
