bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize