A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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