gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
