i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
