She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
