Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
