There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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