Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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