he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
