I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
