So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
