It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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