I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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