In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
