For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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