I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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