so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize