My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
