We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize
