We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's blow job season.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
