What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
