It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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