Already got asked if we're dating
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
