So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
